Bhai Dooj on 11 November: a sister's invitation भाई दूज, 11 नवंबर: बहन का निमंत्रण

The article

Bhai Dooj falls on Wednesday 11 November this year. It is the second day of the bright fortnight of Kartik, and the last of the five days of Diwali. In Maharashtra and Goa it is Bhau Beej, in Bengal Bhai Phonta, and in many old texts it is called Yama Dwitiya.

## The story

The story families tell is about a brother and sister who rarely met. Yamuna, the river, often invited her brother Yama to come and eat at her home, and he was always too busy to come. On this day, the second day after the new moon of Kartik, he finally came. Yamuna was so happy that she bathed, put a tilak on his forehead, cooked his favourite food and served him herself.

Yama was moved. He asked her what she would like as a gift. She asked only that he come to her every year on this day, and that any brother who goes to his sister's home on this day and eats from her hands should be blessed with a long and happy life. Yama agreed, and that is the blessing sisters pray for on Bhai Dooj.

## The simple puja

- **The tilak.** Roli or kumkum with a few grains of rice, put on the brother's forehead with the ring finger. Many sisters also tie a sacred thread or put a little sweet in his mouth. - **The aarti.** A lamp on a small thali, waved gently before the brother. - **The meal.** The heart of the day. A sister cooks, or at least serves, and the brother eats at her home. In many families he does not eat at his own home before this. - **The gift.** The brother gives something to his sister, small or large. Most sisters will say the visit was the gift.

Many families also do the tilak at a fixed time from the panchang. Ask your family priest or check the panchang for your own city.

## When you are far apart

So many brothers and sisters now live in different countries, one in Bengaluru and one in Houston, one in Leeds and one in Dubai. Families have found their own ways. Sisters do the tilak on a video call and the brother puts the tilak on himself at the same moment. Some send a small thali by post a week early. Some keep the brother's photograph on the puja table and do the whole puja before it. All of these are kept with love, and love is what the day asks for.

If you are a brother far from home, call her first this year.

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